Thursday, May 11, 2006
have edited this post. ask me for my new blog add. =) thru msn or sms. or even frenster.
will stiu blog here once in a while. i dowan to abandon this blog though.
sam speaks @ 5/11/2006 11:20:00 AM
it wasnt my wish too. but i donwan to look back anymore. the things i have been doing recently is so stupid. y do love always hurt. WHY. someone tell me why? hate to say these la. but life jus sucks big time when bad things happen again and again. WTF. i hate all these happening. from that stupid relation(dono whether was it really a real one) to failing my o levels and to my brother's accident which even lead to his death. i jus hate all these happening. but there's nth i can do can i? i feel devastated man. suddenly i jus lose all hope in life. things are jus so beyond prediction. nvr did expect my life to take such a big turn, YES A BIG BIG TURN. when i am onli 17. fuck. i lost all hope ever since my Bro ended his life journey. but again, dad and mum were the onli reasons that i am staying alive. plus brother wouldnt wan me to thk that way. and he always want me to study hard and be someone useful. i wont cry.(how fake)
my brother is such a innocent person... i believed that he havent did something bad enough to had his life taken away. i was the evil one. i can even curse my own brother.. didnt know was it bcos of me or wat. if it was, i will be his slave my nxt life.. together with dad and mum, jus that i am the slave of the family. i deeply regret. regretting is worst off then heart breaking.the pain is beyond description. nvr regret anything. u will wanna die. i really hope to see my brother again, is that ever possible again? I CANT BELIEVE HE'S DEAD. CAN ANYONE TELL ME HE'S NT. EVERYTIME I BOARD THE TRAIN AND PASS BY HIS ACCIDENT PLACE, I BREAK DOWN. ALL E TIME I CRY. I CANT TAKE IT. I CANT ACCEPT THE FACT. CAN NVR ACCEPT THE TRUTH. I HATE MYSELF. WHY DO I HAVE TO UNDERGO THIS KIND OF PAIN.. ITS UNFAIR... PLS LET ME SEE MY BROTHER AGAIN. I REALLY MISS HIM THAT BADLY.
sam speaks @ 5/11/2006 10:15:00 AM

